So, for better or worse I made a big leap today.  After months and months of effort to try to forget or move on from my ex (who not to mention I work with and am reminded of every second of every day because we sit like 10 feet from each other), I decided to take all my yelling and crying and anger and saddness and put it down on paper.  Actually take the time to not fumble over my words and get all hysterical and actually say what I felt to him.  As hurt as I have felt, and with many efforts to "move on" to someone else, I think I am fooling myself by forcing myself to want something that I actually don't.  I miss him terribly, and although I am deep down glad that we have had time apart for me to remind myself of what I actually wanted and needed for myself, I wish that we could start over and rekindle all the good times.  I know what I did wrong, and I know what he did, but life is too short to tell someone how I feel.

So, signed, sealed, delivered . . . i'm still yours.