Where do I begin?  When I was a little girl everything seemed so easy.  My parents (who were in their 20's) were so old I couldn't even imagine being them.  But I knew a few things were certain . . . One, when you are a girl who is older (20's-ish), you definitely would be married and have a happy little family.  After all, that's what my parents had so that had to be the norm.  Right?!  And two, as a child having no sense of the monetary value of things, I assumed that if you worked hard then things just became yours.  Both my predictions seem to have turned out to be wrong.  

Let's just say (for argument sake) that my life had to be summed up in one sentence.  I am a 30's-ish, newly-single, home renter (not owner), finding-my-second-career college freshman with a massive amount of debt.  Now if that doesn't scream "marry me" then i'm not sure what does!  LOL.  Why can I "laugh out loud" about this seemingly-horrific synopsis that I call my life?  Because i've acknowledged my mistakes and am trying to change them.  I'm not sure where I went wrong but it did happen.  I was raised by wonderful, loving, responsible parents who always taught me right from wrong, and the ins-and-outs of the money-loving world.  So how did I screw up so bad?!  I can't tell you the answer, but I will say it will change.  If there's not anything else that i've learned from the past 10 years of mistakes, it's that no matter what happens and who saves you, you are the one who has to live with your decisions and learn from them.

I've gone from commitment-phobe to wedding-crazy.  Completely broke to learning how to stretch the almighty dollar.  Apartment to home renter.  Bored college student to a 4.0 girl juggling 3 jobs finding out what I truly love to do.  And most importantly, i've gone from a selfish non-appreciative young adult to someone who is finding herself and learning to live healthy and make each day have greater value than the last.

So why now, why this spill-my-guts blog with all this unnecessary venting?  It started when I took a psychology class last semester and learned a few things about myself along the way.  My professor insisted (and for a grade) that we keep a written journal throughout the months we spent in class.  You could write, vent, use poetry, or whatever else helped you express what was going on in your life.  The content wasn't so important as was the experience of using writing and "getting it all out" as a tool to better ourselves.  Her lesson was that the more you get out of your head and onto the paper, then the less distractions you have and the more focused you could be on improving yourself.  So week after week I wrote feelings or events or whatever else I thought or felt and surprisingly I learned alot about where I was in life and what I needed to do to change the things I wasn't happy with.  So now, away from the popularity of facebook and in an effort to express myself and grow, i've started this blog to say all the things I think and love . . . and even some of the things that aren't so great to hear. 

So, if you care to follow and hear the bad along with the good, I welcome the company.  And if not, that's okay too.  But life is hard sometimes and venting is necessary.  It is also a gift and it needs to be appreciated.  So i've wiped my slate clean and will not take another day for granted.  I will do only the things that make ME happy and not change myself for others.  Thanks to everyone who has listened.

Cheers to a new start!